Would You Trade Places With Them?
We have been taught that networking is all about us: the number of business cards WE get, how many contacts WE add to our databases, or who WE take photos with.
Be honest with me, y’all. That’s how most of us learned it, right? Go to the mixer, work the room, collect the cards, post the picture.
Here’s what. Networking strategically has very little to do with you individually. Strategic networking is based solely on ensuring that there is mutual benefit because of connecting.
That one idea changes how you walk into every room. You start asking a bigger question: who here can I help, and how do we both leave better off?
And here’s the good news. Building and leveraging a network begins with identifying the people you know and your current relationships. Family, friends, colleagues, mentors, acquaintances. You already have one. You’ve been building it your whole life, whether you called it that or not.
The day I stopped laughing
There’s a line credited to Jim Rohn: “Show me your network, and I’ll know your net worth.” When I first heard this, I laughed.
Then, as I began assessing my network and net worth, I realized neither was a laughing matter. My honest answer was, “I don’t like my current net worth. In fact, I hate it.”
This was the moment that I decided to implement the Network Strategically principle in my life.
The 3 x 5 association
You’ve probably heard that we become like the five people we spend the most time with. Your parents had their own version of it: “birds of a feather flock together,” usually right around the time they didn’t like who you were running with as a teenager.
The 3 x 5 association takes that further. We become the average of the five people we spend the most time with in three specific areas of our lives:
Professionally
Personally
Socially
I love this expanded association assessment because it has forced me to be intentional in my networking while in different environments. Your five at work and your five on a Saturday can be completely different people, and both groups are shaping you.
The question that tells you the truth
So here’s the test, and it only takes a few minutes. Write down your five in each of those three areas. Up to fifteen names. Then ask yourself one question.
When confronted with the possibility of trading places with members of your 3 x 5 association matrix, are you excited or hesitant?
If you are overcome with joy and excitement, then congratulations. You are already farther along the path to wealth creation than when I started my journey.
And if that question made you pause? I am here to commend you for being honest with yourself. That pause tells me you care where you’re headed, and you’re ready to do the werk of building something better.
What the research found about your wider circle
In my book, I wrote that the strengthening of weak ties (acquaintances and distant connections) can be particularly valuable for accessing new information and opportunities. In 2022, researchers from LinkedIn, Harvard, Stanford and MIT put that idea to a real test.
Over five years, LinkedIn randomly varied the “People You May Know” suggestions shown to more than 20 million members. In that time, those members made 2 billion new connections and started 600,000 new jobs. Then the researchers looked at which kinds of connections helped people move to a new company.
The connections that helped most sat in the middle: people you’re connected to and share some mutual connections with, without being in each other’s tightest circle. Those moderately weak ties led to more job moves than the strongest ties on the platform did. It also depended on the field. In more digital industries the weaker ties helped more, and in less digital industries the stronger ties carried more weight.
That’s what the study measured: which connections helped people move to new jobs. It fits what the 3 x 5 asks of you, my friends. Be intentional about your closest five in all three areas, and keep investing in the wider circle too.
Source: Rajkumar, Saint-Jacques, Bojinov, Brynjolfsson and Aral, “A causal test of the strength of weak ties,” Science (2022), https://doi.org/10.1126/science.abl4476
Two are better than one
Scripture said it long before any study did.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
If you were to “fall” today, who do you have by your side to help you up? I sincerely hope that you can answer that question quickly, confidently, and with a multitude of individuals.
If the names came slowly, that’s all right. You just found out exactly what to build next, and the steps below are where you start.
How to network strategically this month
Here’s what I want you to do with this.
Write out your 3 x 5. Five names professionally, five personally, five socially. Ask the trading-places question about every one of them, and be honest with yourself.
Contact three individuals in your current network to reconnect and offer support. Call to see how they’re doing, what they’re working on, and how you might help.
Within the next month, attend at least one networking event or join a professional organization. Pick a room where people are already doing what you want to do.
Giving back to your network is equally important. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2) By being generous and supportive, you create a positive reputation and encourage others to reciprocate.
Act now
You must act NOW and create your flock that will move you toward your goal of wealth creation.
If you want somebody in your corner while you build it, you can book a complimentary discovery call with me here: https://www.worldrenownedcoaching.com/consultation
And if you want the whole framework, you can read a free chapter of The Affluent Negroes at https://www.theaffluentnegroes.com/
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